Every week, twice a week for a couple of years I am going to an allergist to get allergy shots. So that way I can walk outside without getting incredibly itchy and sneezy. One Tuesday, I made the mistake of going at 5:30 in the evening for my shots, the waiting room was crowded, standing room only. So as I waited for an hour, I just observed everyone in that waiting room. I know it doesn’t seem like the most traditional place to people watch but having gone there for almost a year now I have observed a lot of mother and child relationships that are worth noting. This particular time there were many different people in there, mothers with their children, business men and young working women (much like myself).I figured this would be a great place to observe people, which is easy for me because I do that on a daily basis. I’m always observing my surrounding peers and trying to figure them out. Watching a person and their movements can tell you a lot about a person. The way that they communicate to others is key in what type personality they have. Or by what they wear if they are affected by the media and culture. For example, someone who is very trendy with their boots on and playing on their iphone, they probably watch a lot of TV and let it affect them and their decisions in life.
At this particular day in the waiting room I observed a lot of good and bad things. I’ll start by telling you what I observed. The first thing that caught my attention was a mom, probably late 30’s, walking into the room with her little boy, around 5, following behind her. I watched them the most because what I saw really upset me. The mother sat on a conference call while her little boy sat there so patiently not saying one word. After her conference call she made a few phone calls. The one sentence I heard her say to her well behaved son was, “That was my boss on the phone.” I think it’s important to know what the people I saw were wearing, because clothing (or lack of clothing) can say a lot about a person. This mom was wearing a business outfit as if she had just gotten off work; a tan pant suit with a white undershirt, tan heels and her hair pulled back. She looked very plain and seemed to blend in. She reminded me of the character Alison Scott in the movie “Knocked Up”. She was a very strong woman and seemed as if she could support herself. Her son, who was very well groomed, wore a nice t shirt shorts and a clean pair of shoes. After her being on the phone for 30 minutes she then preceded to hand her iphone to her young son to play a game on it. That is how the rest of their time in the waiting room was spent. Not once did I see them touch or hear an “I love you”. It makes me incredibly sad when I see a parent on their phone the entire time and not talking to their child. How is a kid supposed to learn things from their parents when they are on their phone doing business calls the entire time? At the age of 3-6 especially kids are so influenced by their parents and their elders because that is who they are around all the time and watching. I am old school in the fact that I believe in being a homemaker and watching and taking care of the children while my husband is at work. I know this old school fashion doesn’t work for everyone, but for me it does. This mom looked as if she was very successful in the work place, but did not seem to be giving her child the attention and love he needs and deserves. These kids should not be learning these from electronics, they need to be learning from their family. The face to face kind of interaction that cannot be replaced with anything else.
Another family I noticed was a mom and two young twin boys. The woman looked very distressed and around the age of early 40’s. Her twin boys were adorable skinny little boys wearing soccer uniforms that were about 2 sizes too big, around the age of 6. Their mom was dressed in sweatpants and a t shirt, her hair was down and she was not wearing any makeup. Her children were sitting on the floor reading magazines (as there were no empty seats in the house). They played very well together just sitting and reading, while their mom sitting in a seat on the other side of the waiting room reading a magazine as well. She was very in sync with her children. She was attentive when they asked her questions or was talking to her. She had a very sweet manor about her. On the other side of the room there was a man in his 30’s by himself. He was playing on his phone the entire time. He was dressed as if he too had just gotten off work. He seemed very tense and wanted to get out of their quickly. He was just staring at his phone the whole time which looked like he was not content with just sitting with his own thoughts. There was another family there, a mom, dad, and a child. The mom and dad looked as if they were in their 30’s, and their daughter was around 12 years old. This family had a good interaction. They talked and teased each other. The dad asked his daughter what kind of pizza she wanted for dinner and then did not want to wait for his daughter to get a shot so he left within 20 minutes of waiting with them. He said he was going to go get pizza and meet them at home. I like how the dad included his daughter in what was for dinner. When I was growing up it was usually this is what is for dinner and you have to eat it, if you don’t like it that’s too bad.
Another family I noticed was a mom and two young twin boys. The woman looked very distressed and around the age of early 40’s. Her twin boys were adorable skinny little boys wearing soccer uniforms that were about 2 sizes too big, around the age of 6. Their mom was dressed in sweatpants and a t shirt, her hair was down and she was not wearing any makeup. Her children were sitting on the floor reading magazines (as there were no empty seats in the house). They played very well together just sitting and reading, while their mom sitting in a seat on the other side of the waiting room reading a magazine as well. She was very in sync with her children. She was attentive when they asked her questions or was talking to her. She had a very sweet manor about her. On the other side of the room there was a man in his 30’s by himself. He was playing on his phone the entire time. He was dressed as if he too had just gotten off work. He seemed very tense and wanted to get out of their quickly. He was just staring at his phone the whole time which looked like he was not content with just sitting with his own thoughts. There was another family there, a mom, dad, and a child. The mom and dad looked as if they were in their 30’s, and their daughter was around 12 years old. This family had a good interaction. They talked and teased each other. The dad asked his daughter what kind of pizza she wanted for dinner and then did not want to wait for his daughter to get a shot so he left within 20 minutes of waiting with them. He said he was going to go get pizza and meet them at home. I like how the dad included his daughter in what was for dinner. When I was growing up it was usually this is what is for dinner and you have to eat it, if you don’t like it that’s too bad.
What I observed in the hour was what I typically see when I go out to places. There are those parents who are so preoccupied by their phones they barely pay any attention to their kids, then on the other hand there still are the good people out there who make the time for their kids to play with them and tell them they love them. This world we live in today scares me. I never want to be the mom who has more important things to do then be there in the moment with their children and help them to nourish and grow.
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